when you troll an iceberg
July 25, 2015Archive
(ok, so that didn’t work and they came back again)
Her: Ok are you married
Me: Yes. To myself. I have control issues. But to my credit, I did play hard to get
Her: Omo iya (apparently Nigerian)
Me. I came home one day, I was there. Screw it. I left.
Me: So you’ve been there too
Her: Where u from
Me: 1965. Can we move this on faster?
Me: We need to be bff in a few minutes
Her: Are u
Me: In fact, I am
I thought this as well
Her: I dont understand u
Me: I don’t understand me either. Screw it. I’m leaving me. Can we go get yogert?
Me: What are you wearing? Is it edible?
Her: Why asking
Me: Cause I just left myself for you!!!!
Her: Where are you from
Me: 1965. Can we move past that?! Let’s talk g strings. I wear mine backwards
Me: Do I really have to explain backwards? Damn it. I don’t want yogurt anymore and I’m going to beg myself to take me back
Me: It means you don’t understand it, and you never will.
Her: You say you are going to bed
Me: What part of China are you in?
Her: Am not from china
Me: I am.
Me: But I’ll name my firstborn in our memory
Her: How do you mean
Me: I saw an idiot pass by. I named him (insert “her” name here)
Me: Googalie google
Her: I will not talk to you agian
Me: Promises promises
Her: F*** off
Me: How much?
Me: Will you be my friend?
Me: Will you pet my pony?
Me: Long soft strokes
Her: Wow. Can i see it
Me: Short ones if you’re a midget
Her: I want to see it
Me: You want to see my midget?
Me: Do you have wide angle eyes
Her: Let me see it
Me: I’m shy
Her: Let me see it
Me: Send me your credit card info. Its safe
Her: Show me your pony first
Me: Pay to play
Her: F*** off then
Me: Haven’t we been here before? Will you be my friend?
Me: I have no arms. Will you wipe my buttocks?
Me: Kleenix preferably. But open to power tool ideas
Me: Power tools. Tools operated by power. Work with me my a** itches
Me: So if I put a roll of kleenix on a dewalt cordless drill, would you clean my a**?
Me: I’ll have to do it with my mouth cause I have no arms, but I miss a clean a**. Did you ever know that you’re me hero?
Me: So, what’s your sign?
Me: I’m an asstrotergious. What are you?
I saw white picket fences for us…..
A parakeet singing partridge family songs….
I just don’t know why you quit talking to me
We can use ryobi if you want
Will you be my friend?
Chat Conversation End