more of the same, i know

ok, while some things i’ve wanted and tried to make happen have fallen through lately, i also have to step back and realize too many things are “getting to me” these days and they never really have before. i attribute part of this the sudden lifestyle changes i made 6 months ago that i’m still working through and i need to focus on what i have done, not necessarily what’s left to do. while i can be a “whiner” at times, it does seem i’ve done a lot of it lately and i don’t like that, so i’ll whine about my whining now.

ok, done.

my truck will be fine and i’m sure i’ll love it when i get it back. part of the issue is my own for saying “take your time, i’m in no rush” and stressing that early on. yes it did drag out and yes, i do think it got taken advantage of, but i can also understand how it could happen and the bottom line is this place does great work and when it’s all over, i’ll keep moving on with my baby and putting even more $ into it to make it my own. the body shop listened to my venting and are doing all they can to make it right. they’re in overtime to get it done and hopefully, maybe, this week.

maybe. but i’ll be ok if it slips. smile emoticon

refinancing my house. this is another that delay after delay and “oh, 1 more piece of paperwork” was getting to me and more than one i tee’d off on the lady trying to help and maybe that’s not uncommon cause she rolled with it like a pro and stayed positive. but with every “delay” and “oh now we need this, last one!” that kept creeping up, i was 90% about to walk away from the deal and just do something else. i was sick and tired of having everything but an anal probe come at me. 16+ years and never a single day late on a payment, great credit, and enough reserves to easily deal with things that may happen, yet, this box wasn’t initialed…this tax return had this on it so we need more, oh wait, we don’t have this piece of paper, but wait, there’s more we need…i came so close to just saying, well i did say, you ask for 1 more piece of information, just tell me we’re done cause i’m not giving anymore.

i close friday. maybe. i hope. another big one hovering over me about to fall and let me finally get busy upgrading the house. gonna need my bro and brothers from another mother in some things i need to get done, but we’ll get it there. next up is the garage to clean out and several runs to the landfill (in my TRUCK!!!) and my garage will become what i’ve always wanted.

whether or not that includes a husky workbench is up to home depot. i’m pretty sure they’ll honor the sale price and if not, fine. it’s only $80 but i won’t get it. i’ll get (2) lowes desks and hey, do something else.

so yea, there are a lot of things that have just been dragging me down but i get up, like we all do, take a deep breathe, and go do it. given my own mental state of whining too much and not staying focused on things that have traditionally mattered, like music. writing. friends and family.

then as all just seems to cloud up and you brace for more rain, swearing the thunder won’t scare you this time but you know you’ll still jump at a good loud burst. you see, i know there will be times that test you. push you, piss you the hell off.

there will always be those times and nothing you do, say, or amount of money you spend will change that. i used to always say you can’t choose what you’re handed in life, only how you deal with it and i’ve put that message away and been mad at some things i’ve been handed, but yet, i’ve not focused on the good things that are also happening.

Yukari Banks has come home as a long lost renegade DJ who like all of us at times, had to break away due to life but now because of life, she’s back and helping me with the icehouse. never had a producer before but more importantly i’ve missed my friend and will love working her again.

with any luck, it’s gonna seem like old times with me back in my 01 truck, tunes to be found and played for others, with old and new friends to work with along the way.

time to make some things happen. who’s with me???

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