Port 80 - Listen at Work!!!

Currently I have direcTV and it's not bad. i hate the "record" feature when I just want to watch something and that annoys me. then there's the "pregnant pause" feature. Hit the button, bring up the channels, hit "page down" and get told to fuck off. the TV wants to sit there for a bit longer. FINALLY it catches up but it's annoying and even more so on bad days. finally, to order pay per view I just see no friggin reason to have to say "ok" to "enjoy your show" to get the crap off my tv screen. I say "yes i'll pay for this" and put the remote down only to have to get it again cause if you don't, it NEVER GOES AWAY.
 
That on it's own was never really enough to push me over the edge but recently, I wanted to setup my spare bedroom to be a "proper" guest room. Got it all cleaned up, new bedding and I put a 26" flat screen in. I called DirecTV to see how much it would be to put a 2nd receiver in. The overall cost wasn't over the top but what was is that I would have to sign a 2 year agreement and "start over" with them. I did NOT want to start over just to ADD TO MY FRIGGIN SERVICES! So fine, my uverse internet has been solid for years now, maybe I'll give the TV service another chance.
 
I get the cards in the mail from AT&T to bundle TV back into my account and it was a pretty good deal but I wanted a few modifications. so I found the package I wanted online and called in to order it. I wanted the wireless tuner for the guest room so it would be a breeze to setup so this was a great deal all around and the perfect reason to return to u-verse. The tech was cool and we went through all the steps and we were moving man. only, it was going to be like $150 a month for TV ALONE and I said "whoah little camper" (which can freak out people on the other line) it's $79 online and I just want to add to my existing service.
 
"You have to do that online"
 
Say what, little camper?
 
Of course doing it "online" means I have to do what I dread and purposefully avoid - creating yet ANOTHER account for a service provider under their rules for names and passwords that i now have to keep up with YET ANOTHER account, just to order TV service at the discount they keep telling me they'll give me. so fine. I have to now go look up account numbers, find whatever e-mail address THEY gave me I’m supposed to use (I have my own domain and don't need YET ANOTHER e-mail to have to give a damn about) and i spend a few hours setting it up and linking my internet and home phone service to it and fine. I’m ready to "add digital tv" and when I hit that i get offers from DirecTV
 
OF WHICH I’m trying to leave for u-verse.
 
This little camper is getting pretty friggin annoyed at this point.
 
I navigate through website hell (seriously, do you do user studies on how to make the shittiest interface around?) and find the U-Verse offerings I found before somehow, (AND NO I DON'T WANT TO CHAT NOW QUIT ASKING ME AT RANDOM TIMES!) and clicked on the offer I wanted and hit "next". verified everything and went to go place the order.
 
I'm sorry, you can't do this online you'll have to call us. We close at 4:30 EST. Hell, it's 4:30 my time cause I spent all damn day on your website because I was told that's where I have to do all this.
 
Little camper pops a blood vessel and calls it a day.
 
A few days go by and I’ve calmed down and now it's more like a mission than a desire. Come hell or high water at&t I’m going to give you more money every month so please stop fighting me on this.
 
Now I’m online trying again and running into the same levels of monumental stupidity of HTML design and for the love of god, what the hell do I have to do to get that chat window up? i can't find a direct link, and of course no phone number or e-mail address is easily found without paying the painful price of persistence to finally locate it.
 
AH HA! A CHAT WINDOW.
 
so I talk to the 1st dude and try to tell him what I’m adding onto my internet service and want to come back to uverse and add it back on. he keeps answering with something that makes zero sense to me and fails to even acknowledge he understands my problem. he tells me he will be glad to contact me should uverse become available in my area. WTF is this camper smoking?
 
i finally said "human check - what is 2+2" and that did it. i broke him off his scripted path of hell and he gave me a phone number to call.
 
to see if the service (which I’m currently using) is available at my home.
 
Finally, I get to Sheila. i go through my story once again and she understood. she got it from the word go. i can get back off my knees and restore some pride and dignity back to my online and entertainment experiences. She got me the best bundled deal she could, we set the date for Friday from 1-3pm they’d be here to put this to rest.
 
Well, it looked good on paper.
 
That Friday 1-3pm goes by and nothing. 4pm, nothing. 4:30 I call customer service and ask what’s going on. They put me on hold (after apologizing 15 dozen times during the life of the call) and got back to me and said the original one dispatched had a medical emergency, got sick, something came up, but they dispatched someone else who was on the way and would be here shortly.
 
Well, it sounded good over the phone.
 
6pm, nothing. I call back and get another lady who after another annoying series of on hold apology sessions comes back and ensures she has my home # and cell #. Cool. I love giving my digits out to women who say they’ll get to the bottom of this!
 
But just like my social life, no calls. No love. Just another lie and frustration suffered along the way to give a company not worth a dime in customer service over $120 a month in combined services. Like I said – I’m now possessed and their processes will not beat me.
 
So I wake up and call back in again and say “supervisor please” and of course, I had to tell the story again and then I got to someone who would be able to help me.
 
After being put on hold a dozen times and hearing “I sincerely apologize for the delay” dozens more. I was then told the reason this didn’t happen yesterday is because no one was home when the technician got here?
 
I was in my front office from 1pm through eternity right by my front door and kept the music low. So instantly I said “I call bullshit” and asked if this was the 1st technician who had the medical emergency or the 2nd technician that was never sent?
 
Hold please.
 
Finally he comes back and says the 1st they can do this is Tuesday, what time would I like.
 
BULLSHIT. You either have someone out here TODAY to put this GOD DAMN SERVICE in or f* it, I just sign back up to DIRECTV and you win.
 
Hold please.
 
“Would you like 11-1 or 1-3” today, sir?”
 
This strange sense of deja-vu washed over me and I honestly wasn’t sure what to do at this point. I’m not even sure it was me who said “1-3 please” but those words came out and now I’m back in the wait and see mode. But now I’ve got an e-mail link to check and see what the status of my order is and they sent that right to me. I click it and get routed to a page that talked about the service but wasn’t it.
 
Gotta remember AT&T won’t make anything easy.
 
I finally found the right link to take me to my status and guess what. I had to log in. What the hell was my ID??? Never mind.
 
AT&T just called me. It was an automated call to ask me when I wanted to reschedule my install.
 
I may never go camping again.
 
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